Unfortunately, wala akoa phone so I don't have any recent photos of us, but it will not stop me from posting a message on your birthday.
I never say it enough (especially to both of you ni Thea and you know why I don't want to over-expose na but since it is your special day hehee), but I am thankful to have you by my side in my darkest days where I struggled with my mental and emotional health. Those were crucial times that no one would want to be bothered with, and as my world crumbled, you were there to sit with me. No promises made, no glorious words, nothing fancy like that. Just being there was the heaviest weight you have put on what friendship was all about.
I hope and pray for better health for you, a better future, a beautiful & flourishing career, and that you will lead a happy & abundant life forever. There might be some rough patches as you go along life, but know that the Lord is all for a wonderful future for you. You are loved.
FAMILY. I used to have an expectation on what a family should be, perfect, rich, and always happy. There were painful memories, hurtful arguments, happy times; these family went through it all. When I started to meet other people and their families (after being sheltered since I was a child), I realized everyone has their own dysfunctions within their families. Family isn't perfect. Just like marriage, it takes work, lots of understanding and forgiveness, a little helping hand here and there. There's give and take, and working out each other's differences.
I wanted it to be different for my family this year. In my heart, I've always asked God for wisdom on how to best handle my family as we have been separated for a long time and I've decided (inspired and hopeful because of my Lord Jesus Christ) that this time around, the enemy will not win. The devil won't chain us again in his clutches. He has taken my family captive for a long time through generational curses.
I remember after my God Encounter Retreat, I asked the Lord, "How do I win my family for you, Lord?" And the Lord answered me simply, "LOVE."
I didn't know how, but I knew that I'm doing it for the Lord.
Yesterday was the last day of my sister, Auggie, here in Davao because she's going back to Dubai again. She works there, and goes home every 2 years. We ate at Tien Ma's at SM Lanang. It totally didn't go as planned. We had the cake for my other sister, June Reo, because it was also her birthday yesterday. The birthday girl was late, and she wasn't really able to blow her birthday candle. When she entered the restaurant, we sang just one line of the Happy Birthday song, Hahahaha!
After eating, we took pictures outside of the restaurant and it was total havoc! The kids were running around, and parents have to go after them just so we can take our family pictures. There were lots of struggle with the kids because Julia didn't want to participate, Jasper wanted to be carried by his mom, and Zach was out of sight so my cousin, Paolo, has to go after him. Only baby Zia was behaved heheehe..
From the pictures below, it might look like we all got it together, but not quite. ππ
The birthday girl, June Reo
Well, we tried the group picture thingy while eating.. Nope, not working.
And so here we are...
Of course, me and my daughter were somehow twinning on this particular day ππ
With my Mama and sisters sans Julee, my actual twin, who's in Dubai.
Last not but not the least, as I will be more forgiving and loving in my journey with Christ, I am welcoming a new bundle of joy. I am praying from the Lord for a smooth ride as I embark on a new journey. I know the Lord has prepared everything for me. I will be writing about the experience when everything has been ironed out.
For now, I would like to be happy for both of them and for our family. π
For baby Ean Pantaleon
As I expand my heart, my life, my views, these are verses we can learn so much from. In order for God's love to transcend, we have to be more open to this love that He has given us and move beyond us so that many would believe that He is our God who loves and forgives and accepts.
“Your approval means nothing to me, because I know you don’t have God’s love within you." John 5:41-42 (NLT)
"Many more believed because of his message, and they told the woman, “We believe now, not because of what you said, but because we ourselves have heard him, and we know that he really is the Savior of the world.” John 4:41-42 (GNT)
Yesterday, we celebrated my dear niece's birthday at Zoofari. It all started when we celebrated our cute nephew's birthday there 2 weeks before her birthday.
She was pointing at a tarpaulin with pictures of birthday parties, and was blurting out, "Gusto ko dito ako mag birthday party o!" (I want to have my birthday celebration here!) And then she held my hand, and took me to a small part of the restaurant where there were drawings of animals. They call it Zooside, beside the Zooplay area. She was saying, "Tita, gusto ko diyan sa birthday ko!"
So, I was like "Okay, okay, diyan gusto mo?" After that, I asked for information from the receptionist and I was glad to hear that we can have a birthday party for just 20 people. But that didn't happen as planned, ha-ha! We spent more than we expected, but still, we were prepared financially so it was okay. ππ
The pressure was on when she already announced that it's going to be her best birthday ever! Hahaha.. Kids!
In our FB group chat with my sisters
Let me give you just a little background story of our baby girl. When she was born, she was not okay according to the Newborn Screening Test provided by the hospital. I can't say exactly what it was because I really didn't get into the details of it, but there was some sort of a problem with her stomach and she will be needing surgery so that she can eat and poop normally like all babies do.
Jaiannah Julia Ferolino
When Julia came into the world, this little girl has captured our hearts!
And so, we all prayed for her. I asked our church to pray for her so she will be healed without going under the knife because she was so young. I remember jumping with all my might as an act of faith in one of the church conferences I attended so that my niece, Julia, will be healed. During that time, she and her mother were going to Manila to run tests for her, and prep her for the surgery. God is good, and that didn't happen! :) Now she is a healthy little girl, a little naughty, talks a lot, and gets fidgety when all attention are directed to her.
She was very tiny before. I thought she was not going to grow. Her hair never grew very long.
This is her now with her hair unruly and curly hair, tall, active, and talkative. One smart little girl.
I just want to thank everyone who came over, and made it possible for her to have a wonderful memory of her 4th birthday! :)
Thank you to Julia's mom, my sister, who allowed me to go with whatever we can think of for this party!
Thank you to my sisters who contributed so much for this party! πππ
Thank you to Ken and Mary who helped me with the birthday giveaways, and the photos π
Thank you to my friends who came and brought gifts for her, all FROZEN merchandise ha-ha-ha! π
Thank you to Joseph, who bought the 2 cakes for everyone to eat (because we don't want to touch her birthday cake!)
Thank you to my family, and my family's friends who came and also helped!
Thank you to my boss, Ingrid Faith, who gave me opportunities at work, and to Hubble who accepted me to work in their company.. this won't be possible without you guys! ππ Rock on!
Last, but not the least, we would like to thank our Lord Jesus Christ who made all these possible. He gave us what we needed so we can afford to give my niece her "best birthday ever", and hopefully there's more in the future!
Our Birthday Celebrant - Cakes, gifts, and giveaways
The food and her visitors
The Kids enjoying Zoofari's Play Room
Family and Friends
Videos!
Thank you Tita/Pastora Kai Pilones for praying for Julia and the food!
Julia opening her gifts ππ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JULIA! I LOVE YOU MY DEAR NIECE! I can't put everything in this short blog about your special day, but know that we all love you and baby Jasper! Enjoy your gifts, ate! πππ
P.S. One highlight on her birthday was Eishi, my bff's (Denise) youngest daughter. She asked me, "Tita Judee, may mascot?" and then "Tita Judee, may magic?" Hahahaa.. Her mom goes all out when it comes to her daughters' birthday, so she thought we're going to have the same things for Julia's. ππ° Next time nalang ha hehehe..
Just like love is a decision, so is forgiveness. It is a choice you have to make yourself, almost every day of your life. So do I. Forgiveness doesn't mean what happened or what was said was okay, but it also doesn't mean that this person or these people are still welcome in your life to cause more pain. It is just letting go, make peace with yourself, knowing that you are ready to just forgive and forget about it.
Jesus forgave me when He decided to die for me on the cross, and I will do the same even though it has caused so much pain in my heart. It is not about me anymore, but it is about God. It is always about God.
Matthew 18:27 "The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.” (NIV)
This means a lot to me because my Mom was already baptized in the name of Jesus. And the Lord loves her so much more than I do, so I believe and claim that the Lord will take her back to where she belongs. To her first love, our Lord Jesus Christ.
Photo Not Mine. Credits to Owner. (Forgot where I took this photo from)
While riding in the bus earlier to go to NCCC Mall and meet a person to have our Lifegroup, the Lord talked to me.
I thought, "What would I tell my mentees if they ask me how I was able to manage and go through the difficult times of my life while serving Him, and still serving Him? How did I keep the faith? Even with heartbreaks, hurts, disappointments, failures, and everything not nice, why am I still here as their leader?" I saw their faces in my mind.
The only answer I came up with was, "I was thinking of you."
When Jesus, the only begotten son of God, went through the most horrible times, kicked on, spit on, wore a thorny crown, walked with a heavy cross, got nailed on that same cross, died on that cross and got resurrected after 3 days, why did He go through all these?
"He was thinking of you." On the bus ride, tears welled up in my eyes. That's how precious we are to Him. In order for us to have better lives, better selves, and better futures, He died for us because He was thinking of us.
As sons and daughters of God living for God, and serving God, we should also be responsible of the people around us. Think of them as Jesus thought of you.
It's so good to rest in the presence of the Lord after I stubbornly fought and prayed so hard to get me out of my current situation.
Example are these 6 pieces of clothing I've just washed. Haha.. This was done for 2 days! (Walay jam!) I wanted it to be as white as snow (char.com), and so I put on more Zonrox and Surf (libre commercial) powder on them. I finally stopped when I couldn't get it done. I finally decided to put on Zonrox again, and then leave it. So I did. And ta-dah! When I took it out, it was perfectly imperfect!
It's been a year now, and I think a few months (I can't remember anymore), and I am still struggling with my finances. And I've thought of so many ways on how to get out of this hole, praying with a broken heart, and so helpless.
I've made an excel sheet to list down my expenses (bills and money I owe people), tried my best to write a budget and to no avail, still end up out of the budget.
I tried to ignore it and eat, eat eat! Haha. And then I come face to face with bills I needed to pay, so I feel this little twinge of regret for squandering my money just because I wanted to eat this and that.
I borrowed money to pay another bill or money that I owe to another person (which I really hated to do, and never wanted to do, but then, I DID! OMG!). Reality bites, I still am short on money.
Finally, I came with another revelation that I don't have to fight it. I've been praying for this problem to be removed from my life, and I asked: "Why hasn't God removed it yet?"
At first, I thought it's because He wanted to punish me. Or maybe somewhere down the road, I made a mistake of giving my tithes, offerings, the portion to the Man of God, et cetera, that's why I'm suffering this. I couldn't even complete my pledge!
I soon realized that I've been praying the wrong prayer (yes, there is such a thing as wrong prayers). Why hasn't God removed this struggle in my life? Yes, He is teaching me something. I've come up with a few realizations that have broken me humbly and trusted God to do something about it. But, there's more. So today, I prayed and asked the Lord to give me strength as I go through the process. To help me get through this with His grace and love.
Now, I understand what 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT) says:
"Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me."
Job went through the worst ordeal of his life, but in the end, the Lord has blessed him twice as much as he had before. I have received promises from devotional, and I decided, to believe that it shall come to pass soon.
Isaiah 61:7 (NLT)
"Instead of shame and dishonor,
you will enjoy a double share of honor.
You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours."
So, girls and boys, go through the process if God hasn't removed that struggle in your life. Continue to pray, and believe.
"Perhaps your last place of service to the Lord seemed to be a complete failure. Yet it is possible that the Lord has simply been making you perfectly weak so that He might manifest Himself perfectly strong within you." -Ministries of Francis Frangipane
Our simple HAPPY HEARTS DAY! Since my pamangkins are sick, and my mom is a bit tired so I cooked lunch/pre-dinner for them. And then we ate together.
My niece was very excited for the food! She kept on checking on me and she kept on asking me if the food was done, while I was preparing and cooking. Hehehe..
JULIA: Tita, naluto na?
ME: Wala pa ate..
JULIA: Sleep sa ko Tita ha?
Grandpa would always have Saturday bible studies with his grandchildren, watch The Three Stooges with me, laughs at the Tom & Jerry cartoon shows with us, we go jogging during the summer at Shrine Hills, he buys bread and bananas everyday. He showed the kind of leadership I want to follow.
Gradma would wake up at 3AM, and cook breakfast for us. She would clean the house, spic and span. She would wash our clothes, and bought coin banks for us and put money in it. She cooks the best beef steak in town. She showed the kind of teacher I want to be.
My grandparents were an epitome of love, teamwork, patience, and discipline. Thank you, Lord, for I have encountered people like them. Kahit saglit lang, you have given me an opportunity to spend time with them.
One of my notes last July 14, 2013
Renew our mind daily in our lives. Satan will continue to lie in our lives, and as long as you listen to those lies, you will be hiding and looking for something in the world.
Let the Holy Spirit in your life because you can't do it on your own.
Isaiah 55:4-5 Ang tubag ni Lord sa akoa, after praying for the last 2 weeks.. This was my devo yesterday, and up until now, His message is the same for me. I wanted to quit in the leadership, and just live life on my own. I was also asking God if ang promise nya and His declaration na mag multiply ko when mahitabo. But yesterday, He gave me another command and promise which I will hold on to. I need to wait a little more. God is still pruning things in my life, still molding me, and I need to continue doing what I was assigned to do.
So many disappointments along the way as I have lost a lot of people I wanted to stay in my lifegroup, but God has taught me patience, and assuring me that it is part of the process. He has shown another side of me, both the negatives and positives. Still, I end up being with God. Lahi ra jud if you have experienced God already in your life. Lord, thank you.
Pangarap lang ni sa una.. Trying out, testing the waters, nagbabasakali, unsure pa. This was year 2012, & I was in Cebu pa. Walay plano mag uli og mo settle sa Davao. Wala pa nako ni seryosoha because it was a long shot. But this is one proof na pag mag declare ka, & it comes from the heart, maskin testing2 lang, pwede mahitabo.
I even messaged this girl, who later on became one my best friends in church now. My aunt wanted me to message her so I could go back home, and not work in another city anymore.
Fast forward 2017, 3 years na diay ko online worker. I will continue to pray and declare for the things I desire to happen in my life.
Thank you Lord for the creation of FB Memories, it gave me something to reflect on today.
From the 3 chapters of my devotional, the Lord all throughout assured me that He has not forgotten me, and everything will be restored. He will show that He is the Lord in my life (an answer He gave me from what I have prayed yesterday in the afternoon). But this verse though struck me because he is assuring me that my hard work will be rewarded, and I just need to be persistent (again another reply I was pondering through the week if I always need to work this hard to earn).
He gave me a warning in Isaiah 49:14-15 that in moments of darkness, confusion, helplessness, I might wonder where He is and if He has forgotten me. God reassured me that I am not forgotten.
Thank you, Lord! Pictured below is the verse from Isaiah 49:4-6 (Promise)
Application? Work hard, wait, and continue to pray for my family.
So many times I want to go back on my promise, and turn my back to God because of so many things/circumstances (money problems, fighting with my sisters, offense, anger, hurt, etc), but I always end up talking and crying to God.
I realized that God has me better than anyone else. He never disappoints, Men does. And I love Him, so it's better for me to follow His teachings.
I just got home from Cabantian where I celebrated New Year's Eve. It is my younger sister's house where my mom, youngest sister, and pamangkins live. As I have observed them, the Lord revealed to me how my family truly needs JESUS. So when I got home, I prayed over my family, especially in the spiritual aspect. I prayed that they will desire and seek God. I prayed for each of them. I prayed for my daughter. I prayed for the Garcia/Pantaleon/Pilones/Cruz family, for my ministry & my disciples, for the planned upcoming events this year in my life & for the church, for the provision to make all these plans possible, and for my friends.
2016 was the most difficult year for me, and through those difficult times, I have experienced a lot & learned a lot. At first, I couldn't understand why I had to go through it all, but with each step I take, each prayer I sincerely uttered, each thought that comes into mind, God would unfold revelation after revelation making me realize I needed it all. He is preparing me: my mind, and my heart. There are so many to share, but God has taught me to just fully trust Him, to be honest where I lack, to surrender to Him at every start of the battle, to love without choosing who, to forgive again & again, to extend my patience, and to think before speaking. God is truly wonderful!
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