Monday, March 31, 2014


When I look at this picture, I thank the Lord for His goodness. He gave me a time to spend time with my papa. I remember our emails, and texts. God has humbled my heart. I forgave my papa, & I was free from all anger and bitterness towards him.

The most important thing is, I have freed him, too. I saw through my dad's sadness and fears and struggles. It must have been harder on him when he had a daughter who misjudged him and couldn't (and wouldn't) understand him. God made sure that I told my dad that I was sorry, and appreciated him months before he died. Thank you, Lord!

Papa belated happy birthday, & I love you very much! I miss you always...again, thank you for everything, Pa.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Keep On Praying!

Yesterday, I cried out to the Lord.
I let junk fill me up these past few weeks, and I can feel them mounting over me.
I was telling Him my frustrations, my "ifs" and "whys".

I have understood how to pray, what to pray, but I just let out everything to God.
Told Him how disappointed I am, all the heaviness that I felt.
I questioned why He was not able to protect me from getting pregnant at an early age, just as He had protected my cousin and my twin sister.
I am already 30 years old, and I felt like I haven't accomplished anything.
I opened my heart to Him, asking for forgiveness because I did not trust Him enough, and I lost the confidence in prayer. I lost confidence in Him.

For the past few weeks, I felt dead inside. I did not feel the fire that have burnt in my heart because I felt disappointed with everything that has happened after I started my relationship with God. There were things that the enemy put in my way, and I have allowed him to do it. The only thing that I was holding on was the promise I made to God, and I remembered how He showed His love for me.

As I did my devotional, what was impressed on me was about prayer. That was the message for me all throughout the day. To continue praying. Pray without ceasing. Keep on asking. I believe the Lord is telling me to continue to pray about my dreams, about my wishes, about my needs & wants. The Lord's plans for me will prevail. All I have to do is humble down, and pray, pray, and pray.

And as I started to pray, I became comforted. I became stronger. I was refreshed.
I again believe in the promises He has for me, and my life.
There are times that we cannot even open our mouths to pray, too tired, too discouraged to even talk to God. It is okay, don't feel condemned.
The walk with God isn't always a bed of roses.
Along the way, you feel weary, discouraged, desperate, frustrated, angry, disappointed.. But still, continue your walk with God. Let us not give up, and PRAY. Prayer helps us in telling God what we feel, how we feel, what we think.
He wants to listen to what we have to say.

I want to share with you the scripture that He lead me to read yesterday.
"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." LUKE 11:9-10

"And I remember how You found me,
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
But You made a way
You are my freedom
Jesus you're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life?"
-copied lyrics from the song "Here in My Life" by Hillsong

Before the day ended, I came across Victoria Osteen's post in Facebook, and it was very encouraging. At ll:58PM, God gave me another reminder, another encouragement.

"Today I pray for those who are waiting to see the fulfillment of a dream. I pray that you don’t grow weary but lean into Him and let Him direct your steps!"