Do Not Be Afraid To Try!

I have to a story to tell about this. God has given me a job that I know I am not used to, Appointment Setting. I wasn't sure at first, because pitching isn't my kind of thing. So I wasn't very good when I started this home-based job. Clients had started dropping me, and I was worried and scared. Until I am finally on a Part Time status in my current company. I became worried, scared, got tired, discouraged, and ready to give up, I realized that God was teaching me something. As I pondered in my room, crying, He started to put a dream in my heart. There were several things that God dealt with me.

1) I learned to pray over all things, even the smallest ones. I learned to pray over my job, my boss, my performance on a daily basis. As I prayed over these things, I had to keep a positive mind. I learned to solely be dependent on God, and REALLY believe in His miracles.

2) I learned to be patient, and wait on God's move. I learned to fully trust God, and not worry because God can do things in a second more than I can do in a day.

3) And then, God gave me a dream to be better at this job, to help my client's company grow, and be able to recommend other VAs to work in his company. This vision, this dream was so big, I got excited over it!

4) I resolved to do my best, and be the best that I can be in this job, not only to make my client happy, but to do it for the glory of GOD! I had to modulate my voice so I don't sound boring or sleepy when speaking with leads.

5) I learned to save, and think twice (think more than twice!) before I buy anything.

6) I have been humbled by God, many times over.

7) I have set a goal to save A LOT, so I can travel to places outside of the Philippines.

8) I now put value on the things God has given me. Even though this job was an answered prayer, I needed to take care of it, and not take it for granted.


Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” -Matthew 19:26 New Living Translation (NLT)

Losing the Battle

Just recently, I have been downgraded from a full time job to a part time job in my company.

I got tired of getting a new client, and then, after learning their tools & their scripts, they'd drop me like I have never done anything for them. 

I've been working at home for more than a year now, and I have enjoyed the benefits of working at home. Been enjoying it so much, that thinking of going back to an office-based job gives me the creeps. 

Despite all the perks/benefits of working at home, losing clients are one of the struggles of a work-at-home employee. When you lose a client, you also lose the money that you're supposed to earn. 

So after experiencing being hired by one client after another, and then gets dumped after a month or so, I got tired of the process. I felt betrayed, and rejected all of a sudden. I mean, I wake up at night just to work for them, forced myself to remember the scripts, and call more than 300 to 500 people a day, getting fired is not one of the things I have expected to happen to me. I felt discouraged, and I thought I have given up.

As I listened to timely preaching from guest pastors, and coming back from two conferences (G12 Conference in Manila, & Shunammite Conference in CLC), there were things & issues (I realized) that I needed to face...

I have lost the will to live to the fullest.

I have stopped dreaming.

I forgot what miracles are like.

I have been gripped by fear of losing and failing, afraid that God will not get it right or will intentionally give me a hard time in life again.

I have stopped being the best that I can be.

I felt alone, and abandoned.

Most of the people didn't understand what I was going through. 

Facing the music was hard, and painful. But I had to, or else, I will lose all hope to live.

As I dealt with each issue, I found that I had to face my own ego, my own pride, my feelings of self-pity, my thoughts of suicide, my urge to ran away from everything and everyone, my desire to just let go and hide, my own uncertainty, my unwillingness to move forward, and my being self-centered.

I asked for forgiveness from God because I wasn't confident in Him. I asked for forgiveness for the suicidal thoughts. I asked for forgiveness for what I had felt. I asked for forgiveness for forgetting who I was. I was the daughter of a great, living God. I was God's beloved daughter, and I am His forever. He died on the cross for Me, so I can have a life free from the bondage of the enemy (the devil).

Getting back up again, I started to dream. I wrote down my dreams. I checked my heart if it was alright. I am praying again; this time, fully telling God what I feel, what I think, what my plans are, and giving Him all the praise that He deserves. I believed in miracles again. I look forward with hope in my heart. I have to double my efforts in guarding what I say, and do. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to do what God wants me to do. 

As for my remaining part time job, I have set goals. One of my goal is to help my boss grow his company. I have to pray everyday, and before I start my shift, I pray for solid appointments that can be converted to listings, and for listings to be converted to a sale. I have also set actions plans. One of them is to modulate my voice now, so that my leads will talk to me over the phone. I familiarized myself with the script, and I am not afraid to talk anymore. I ask questions to leads, and they answer me. At first, it was a struggle for me to talk and ask questions. I had to stop being uptight, so that I can easily respond to my leads.

I may not be earning as much as I have earned before, but I know that God has placed me under such conditions because I needed to face the reality in my life. I needed to face ME. In order for me to be transformed, God has to put me in situations so I can learn.

I need to trust Him fully, and solely.
God has humbled my heart.
He is teaching me to give even when it hurts.
I need to lean on His understanding, and not on my understanding.
I need to pray consistently.
I need to declare (and claim) that I have a bright future (Jeremiah 29:11)
I need to understand that He is my strength, and I need His strength all the time.
Everything is about Him, and not about me.
All praise and honor to God for every achievement, and every good thing in my life. To put it simply, all credits to God.
I have to have dreams, and hold on to it (& pray for it).
God is with me every step of the way.

And I believe, that God will take care of me, and my family. I believe that God is happy with my dreams. I believe that I will be the best VA for my client. I believe that I will soon have a full time job. I believe for a promotion, or a career advancement in the company I work for. I believe that I am victorious.

God's ways are better than my ways.
His thoughts are higher than my thoughts.
He knows me. He knows my future.
Even before I was formed in my mother's womb, God already knows me.
I have a purpose in life.

Steve Harvey said, "IF YOU'RE GOING PRAY ABOUT IT, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT AND IF YOU'RE GOING WORRY ABOUT IT, DON’T PRAY ABOUT IT."

So if you think you're losing the battle. Think again, and hold on to God's Word. He may have allowed an unfavorable situation for your own good. Pray, and reflect. :)

And oh, Heather Lindsey, has a great thing to say to a job that you might not like. Watch the vid below!

Living Together in Unity

G12 Conference

We both understand that one of the enemy's goals is to try to bring in strife and division. And it always starts with the small things. You may not even realize it, but if you allow a little strife and disharmony in your relationships, like a cancer, eventually it's going to grow and tear those relationships apart. That's why it's so important to keep peace in every area of your life.

#VictoriaOsteenBlogs #PassedPurFirstTestTogether
"How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity…for there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore" (Psalm 133:1, 3b).

THE LORD IS ON TIME, LENDING MONEY & BEING PAID BACK

I have someone borrow money from me, and I wondered why it took her so long to pay me when she gave me a promised date, and was disheartened when she hasn't informed me as to why. Little did I know that God was preparing the payment date for my own good. I lost my client just a 2 or 3 weeks ago (I know, right. Yet again.) When I got myself a new client, I didn't have any money in my pocket (or in my account) anymore. I had to borrow from one of my friends, and my sister. So at the day when I didn't have any, that was also the day that she paid me. I now had a budget for 3 days before my next salary, which was still a small amount because of the payroll cut-off. How God manages everything in my life! All glory, and Honor to my LORD! :)

These were given by Mary and Ken May 9, 2016 on Mother's day,
but this photo is perfect for my blog for today.

In the New Testament, Jesus tells us not to “turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5:42)

He applied this principle even to our enemies in their time of need: “But love your enemies and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great” (Luke 6:35)

The clear teaching of the Bible is that God expects His children to act righteously when lending money. And it helps us to remember that our ability to produce wealth comes from God (Deut 8:18)

More about Lending Money Here: http://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-lending-money.html

"HUSBAND" # 2

This was an FB post about my boyfriend of 8 or 9 years after my husband
and I were separated.

I actually felt a little foolish when I saw this post of mine. Being in a wrong relationship at the time that you thought it was just right, you'll have to expect that it would be a disastrous one. I remember how we used to fight, make up thinking it would be okay again, & then we fight for the same reasons. But being married, separated, and then walked in to another relationship, I thought it was okay. But if it's outside God's will, expect that you will just be living off a dream that everything is okay. That one day, I will just move on with this great man, forget about my previous bad marriage. But we can never run from reality forever. At the early years of our relationship, we were both happy & looking forward to a great future. But reality would hit me big time. Within those years that we were together, questions kept creeping into my mind. How we will get married? How much for an annulment, so I can remarry? How would my daughter feel about it? What about our future kids? Would they be okay with the setup? How would this guy be towards my daughter once we have our own kids? Would it leave out my daughter once she has new siblings to another father? These are just a few questions that left me confused, and indecisive. Our beautiful & happy relationship soon became a burden to me, and it soon made him unhappy. I couldn't for the life of me give him a child, for this would go against my legal marriage.

I knew I was being selfish, and both of us couldn't move on to a good future with this issue. And I soon came face to face with the question, "Is this what God really wanted? For me? For him? And for my daughter?" If it was, it would have been easy. But it wasn't. In my heart, I knew that our relationship was not of God's no matter how beautiful, and fun, and happy it was. No matter how hard I tried to make it work, it is outside of God's plan for me and for all those involved in it. So after 9 years of being together, I had to let it all go. It took me 2 or 3 long years to decide if I should let him go.

Today, I am still separated with my husband. But I can say that I am now in a happier, and more peaceful place. Right now, I am letting God do all His work on me, and in my life. I'd be a hypocrite if I say I don't get lonely. Yes, I do. And in all honesty, I have no desire in my heart to get back with my husband anymore. He has moved on, and I have healed. We both deserve a happier, & better partners for life. I am still for whatever God's desire and will in my life. Whatever He will ask me to do, I will follow. One of the things I will follow is to not sin against our marriage. If we are to annul, and if it is God wanted, it will happen. But this time, it will be a peaceful one. NO heartaches, no hurtful words, or actions. It will just be according to God's plan.

I am following this command Luke 16:18 "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery."

But I did receive a promise from God (3 times already), in 1 Corinthians 7:15 "But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife[a] is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you[b] to live in peace."

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!

In my younger years, I suffered from what they call an "eating disorder." Bulimia or Anorexia, I'm not sure what it was because I never consulted any medical help about it, but for sure I had a problem with my health. We strive to get the body of our dreams, but never thought that we should do it right. I went to the gym twice a day, ate only at lunch time. I stuff myself with a lot of food during lunch times (overeat). And then I wait for 5 minutes so my body can relish what I had eaten. After that, I go to the bathroom, and force myself to vomit. Even just eating a tiny bit of food makes me feel that I'm getting fat, and I make do by staying in the gym for 2 hours or more. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, and all the time, I see a fat girl with big hips, big arms, big butt, etc. Whenever someone comments about my body or a certain body part, I won't eat and then again exercise excessively. 

Above is a picture of me. Obviously, on the left side was the time I had an eating disorder. Around that time, I thought I was very fat, but never saw myself that I didn't look healthy anymore. People even commented that I was doing drugs. On the right side, I was happy and eating properly. I have found my resolve.

I had no idea that I was already suffering of eating disorder. Not until I saw a video in YouTube that made me see my reality. This was serious stuff. It creates emotional turmoil, lowers self-esteem, depression, and health problems. Even causes death. I even watched a TV interview about a little girl in grade school or kindergarten who ate paper so that her stomach won't digest it, and she doesn't have to go hungry anymore. I stopped and started eating properly. GIRLS, if you want to look great, DO IT RIGHT! There are a lot of blogs now that helps people lose weight, and look great, but you don't have to go through the whole ordeal of slowly "killing yourself." You are beautiful, no matter what size you are. Don't let anybody make you feel anything less! 

For the YouTube video, watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VoAj_6iKTo 

I super love this woman who gave birth to NOEXCUSEMOMS, LOSE WEIGHT, GREAT BODY, THE RIGHT WAY: Maria Kang

Looking For Love

When I was very young, I wanted to get sick so my parents will go back together, and that would be my gift to my sisters when I breathe my last breath. I imagined fainting, being taken to the hospital, and everyone finds out I have leukemia that'll be too late to cure. And then they're going to gather around my deathbed, and I find out who really loves me. I believe the reason why I wanted that was not because I want my parents to really get back together, but because I wanted to find out if I was really loved with all their hearts. Not the conditional kind of love, but the one that lasts even though I make my first mistake, or the biggest mistake of my life. I prayed hard for that, almost everyday. But my prayers didn't get answered. Up until now, I don't know why God hasn't answered my prayer. Even when I decided to humble myself, & not wait for my dad to change, still I was not able to confirm if he loved me or not.

Looking for Love

And then I started joining cell groups in Sycore, and my cell leader was my cousin, Erika. I didn't think much about it. I have already understood what salvation was. And then they told me to join an Encounter God Retreat. Nobody will tell me what it was all about, except it was going to be "something". I thought it was just going to be some sort of a retreat. But I was wrong, it was a special experience. There, Jesus' love was magnified, and it was all focused on me.

It came to my mind the day somebody assured me of God's love. I was in my high school years at that time, and I was telling the Lord in my mind that He doesn't love me because even when I was young, I have already experienced hardships. I didn't have a whole family, and I felt lonely all the time. We were not the ravishing rich, and I was ugly, not talented, and not smart. I also looked down on myself for being "fat", but I wasn't really when I look back on my old pictures. I felt unloved, rejected, and not special at all. I felt like I was the unluckiest girl in the world. I asked God that I wanted to feel His embrace, but even that, I couldn't get from Him.

With my high school friends, and cousin, Erika.Yep, that;'s me standing on the left side.

So one day, I went to an altar call at a Revival meeting in our local church. There were a lot of people who came in front, so I settled myself at the back. I just closed my eyes, and really did not expect anything. I felt blank, & empty. Suddenly, a woman came up to me. When I heard her voice, I knew it was one of the church's worship leaders. She told me that she can see a dying plant, ready to give up. As I listen to her, in my mind, I saw a dying plant in a dark place with only a little sunlight shining on it like a spotlight. She continued by saying that she saw a gardener who did not stop taking good care of the plant, watering it every time so it would not die.

And then she said, "You know what? This dying plant is you, and the gardener is God. He never stopped caring about you." At that point, I cried so hard. I can't remember everything she said but I knew it was something about His love.

For the finale that really amazed me, she said "This is how much God loves you." And she hugged me really tight. I cried hard. I couldn't believe that God gave me that very special moment, letting me know how much He loves me.

At the Encounter, I remembered Jesus' love for me. I felt it. I understood it now. Jesus' loves you, too, and He cares. It doesn't matter how much rebellion you have done, how deep in the pit you are because of your sins, He loves you and it's unconditional. You don't have to turn to God-substitutes anymore to get love.

If you have been touched by this blog, then I would like you to pray this prayer:
"Jesus, I recognized that I have sinned, and that I needed love. I ask for your forgiveness for all the wrong things I've done. I want to invite you Jesus in my life, I believe that you are my Lord and Savior. Thank you for your unending love for me. In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen."

After you prayed this prayer, look for a local Christian church in your area, and talk to the head or Senior Pastor there so you will be guided in your new life. :)

Our Sycore Cell Group

That's me on the left side, and that's my cousin on my right, Erika 

J Palermo's Diner in Davao City

I thought I'll never be the type na ma-star struck. But I just got starstruck earlier when we ate at J Palermo's Diner. It was a really funny experience,and the first time that me & Jade were so quiet while eating & waiting for the food. We were so conscious that Juliana Palermo was there at the other end of the room. And the food was great! Their burger steak was one of a kind. Honestly, I couldn't talk much, I felt silly but hey!! And then when she asked us how was the food, we hesitated, not knowing if we should answer in English, Visayan, or Tagalog hahaha!!! Anyways, I'll be making a blog tomorrow about the whole experience. For now, I will sit back, relax, and watch a movie. :)