Monday, December 7, 2015

Losing the Battle

Just recently, I have been downgraded from a full time job to a part time job in my company.
I got tired of getting a new client, and then, after learning their tools & their scripts, they'd drop me like I have never done anything for them. 

I've been working at home for more than a year now, and I have enjoyed the benefits of working at home. Been enjoying it so much, that thinking of going back to an office-based job gives me the creeps. 

Despite all the perks/benefits of working at home, losing clients are one of the struggles of a work-at-home employee. When you lose a client, you also lose the money that you're supposed to earn. 

So after experiencing being hired by one client after another, and then gets dumped after a month or so, I got tired of the process. I felt betrayed, and rejected all of a sudden. I mean, I wake up at night just to work for them, forced myself to remember the scripts, and call more than 300 to 500 people a day, getting fired is not one of the things I have expected to happen to me. I felt discouraged, and I thought I have given up.

As I listened to timely preaching from guest pastors, and coming back from two conferences (G12 Conference in Manila, & Shunammite Conference in CLC), there were things & issues (I realized) that I needed to face...

I have lost the will to live to the fullest.
I have stopped dreaming.
I forgot what miracles are like.
I have been gripped by fear of losing and failing, afraid that God will not get it right or will intentionally give me a hard time in life again.
I have stopped being the best that I can be.
I felt alone, and abandoned.

Most of the people didn't understand what I was going through. 
Facing the music was hard, and painful. But I had to, or else, I will lose all hope to live.
As I dealt with each issue, I found that I had to face my own ego, my own pride, my feelings of self-pity, my thoughts of suicide, my urge to ran away from everything and everyone, my desire to just let go and hide, my own uncertainty, my unwillingness to move forward, and my being self-centered.

I asked for forgiveness from God because I wasn't confident in Him. I asked for forgiveness for the suicidal thoughts. I asked for forgiveness for what I had felt. I asked for forgiveness for forgetting who I was. I was the daughter of a great, living God. I was God's beloved daughter, and I am His forever. He died on the cross for Me, so I can have a life free from the bondage of the enemy (the devil).

Getting back up again, I started to dream. I wrote down my dreams. I checked my heart if it was alright. I am praying again; this time, fully telling God what I feel, what I think, what my plans are, and giving Him all the praise that He deserves. I believed in miracles again. I look forward with hope in my heart. I have to double my efforts in guarding what I say, and do. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to do what God wants me to do. 

As for my remaining part time job, I have set goals. One of my goal is to help my boss grow his company. I have to pray everyday, and before I start my shift, I pray for solid appointments that can be converted to listings, and for listings to be converted to a sale. I have also set actions plans. One of them is to modulate my voice now, so that my leads will talk to me over the phone. I familiarized myself with the script, and I am not afraid to talk anymore. I ask questions to leads, and they answer me. At first, it was a struggle for me to talk and ask questions. I had to stop being uptight, so that I can easily respond to my leads.

I may not be earning as much as I have earned before, but I know that God has placed me under such conditions because I needed to face the reality in my life. I needed to face ME. In order for me to be transformed, God has to put me in situations so I can learn.

I need to trust Him fully, and solely.
God has humbled my heart.
He is teaching me to give even when it hurts.
I need to lean on His understanding, and not on my understanding.
I need to pray consistently.
I need to declare (and claim) that I have a bright future (Jeremiah 29:11)
I need to understand that He is my strength, and I need His strength all the time.
Everything is about Him, and not about me.
All praise and honor to God for every achievement, and every good thing in my life. To put it simply, all credits to God.
I have to have dreams, and hold on to it (& pray for it).
God is with me every step of the way.

And I believe, that God will take care of me, and my family. I believe that God is happy with my dreams. I believe that I will be the best VA for my client. I believe that I will soon have a full time job. I believe for a promotion, or a career advancement in the company I work for. I believe that I am victorious.

God's ways are better than my ways.
His thoughts are higher than my thoughts.
He knows me. He knows my future.
Even before I was formed in my mother's womb, God already knows me.
I have a purpose in life.


So if you think you're losing the battle. Think again, and hold on to God's Word. He may have allowed an unfavorable situation for your own good. Pray, and reflect. :)

And oh, Heather Lindsey, has a great thing to say to a job that you might not like. Watch the vid below!

No comments:

Post a Comment